The hardest part of leadership isn’t strategy, sales, or scaling—it’s showing up consistently when your personal life feels like a wreck. Great leaders keep showing up, not because it’s easy, but because others are counting on them. Here’s how to do it—practically, powerfully, and with heart.
Why Most People Get Leadership Wrong
Scroll Instagram and you’ll think leadership is about:
- Fancy retreats,
- Smooth onboarding flows,
- Or flexing team wins in a LinkedIn post.
But the real test of leadership?
Can you still lead when life knocks the wind out of you?
This week, one of my coaching clients reminded me what real leadership looks like.
The Coaching Call That Slapped Me in the Face
We were celebrating wins:
- 4X growth since last year
- Systems that finally feel effortless
- A team that’s thriving
Everything looked picture-perfect.
But then his voice dropped.
“And at the same time… I’m going through one of the hardest times of my life.”
Behind the metrics?
- Personal grief.
- Family stress.
- Health scares.
He was leading while bleeding.
This Is the Part Nobody Talks About
Let’s call it what it is:
The biggest test of your leadership is how you show up when everything around you is falling apart.
Great leaders don’t:
- Vanish from Slack when they’re stressed
- Blame their team when energy runs low
- Break promises made during the good times
They show up anyway.
Even at 60%.
Even when it’s messy.
Even when their personal life is burning.
Good Leaders vs. Great Leaders
Here’s a simple breakdown of how leaders respond when life is easy… versus when it’s anything but:
Leadership Comparison Table
| Leadership Trait | When Life Is Good | When Life Is Messy |
|---|---|---|
| Visibility | Stay present and engaged | May pull back or check out |
| Communication | Confident and clear | Hesitant or avoidant |
| Decision-Making | Fast and decisive | Doubtful or emotionally reactive |
| Accountability | Owns outcomes | May deflect or blame |
| What Great Leaders Do | Lead consistently | Show up even at 60% |
What “Showing Up” Actually Means
Let’s be clear. Showing up doesn’t mean being fake.
It’s not about:
- Putting on a mask
- Pretending everything’s fine
- Dumping your personal life into the group chat
Real leadership in hard times looks like this:
- Honesty without oversharing
- Keeping key routines alive
- Following through on promises
- Empowering your team to step up
You don’t have to be perfect.
But you do have to be present.
5 Ways to Lead When Life Is Falling Apart
You don’t need a motivational quote — you need a damn game plan. So here it is:
1. Protect Your Core Routines
The bare minimum you must guard when life is a mess:
Core Habits Table
| Core Routine | Why It Matters | How to Keep It Simple |
|---|---|---|
| Morning Routine | Sets your emotional and mental tone | Wake up at same time, journal or stretch |
| Team Check-Ins | Maintains team alignment and morale | 15-minute daily huddle or Slack message |
| Client Commitments | Protects your revenue and trust | Confirm timelines, keep promises |
When everything else feels shaky, routines are your anchor.
2. Communicate Honestly (But With Boundaries)
No one’s asking you to cry on Zoom.
But saying,
“I’m navigating some personal things right now, but we’re still moving forward”—
builds trust without oversharing.
It signals strength and self-awareness.
3. Delegate Like a Real CEO
When you’re not at 100%, don’t fake it.
Transfer the energy.
- Let your ops manager run point on projects.
- Empower key team members to own decisions.
- Give people permission to step up.
🧠 Reminder: Delegation isn’t abdication—it’s leadership at scale.
🔗 Resource: Harvard Business Review – Delegation That Works
4. Ruthless Prioritization Is Non-Negotiable
When you’ve got limited energy, the focus is simple:
- Protect your revenue
- Protect your relationships
- Protect your reputation
Everything else can wait.
Cut out:
- Over-scheduled meetings
- New shiny ideas
- Non-critical updates
🔗 Resource: Essentialism by Greg McKeown
5. Take “Micro-Restorations”
You don’t need a spa weekend. You need:
- A 10-minute walk without your phone
- A nap between back-to-back calls
- An early night without guilt
These tiny resets aren’t indulgent — they’re how you last through chaos.
If you can’t rest, you can’t lead. Period.
What Your Team (And Family) Really Needs From You
They don’t need:
- You to be perfect
- You to have all the answers
- You to always feel strong
They need you to stay in the room.
Even if your voice shakes.
Even if your hands tremble.
Even if all you can give today is 60%.
They need you to show up.
Because presence beats perfection—every time.
Final Word: The Leadership Move That Actually Matters
Let’s kill the myth that “real leaders always have it together.”
That’s not leadership.
This is:
- Show up when it’s inconvenient
- Lead when it’s uncomfortable
- Speak when it’s awkward
- Stay when it’s tempting to run
Because the quiet power of “still being here” when everything sucks?
That’s what earns trust. That’s what builds legacy. That’s what real leadership looks like.
Be sure to read my blog on the best business business terms every real estate agent should know here